Wednesday, June 16, 2010


Someone stole my iPhone. Right out from under me.

They just reached in my sling bag and grabbed it out of the front pocket. I know, I’re thinking... ”Sure Molly. I know you. And I doubt it was stolen. More like you forgot it. Or you were too drunk and left it in the bathroom.” (I resent that last thought)

OK. I’ll admit it. I thought the same thing myself the moment of realization. “YOU ARE SUCH a mother f@*$!^# moron Molly! Another one gone!!!” I said to myself out loud as I ripped open the bag, ruining a newly bought sling. Nope. No phone.

I knew it was in there; I remembered putting it back in the front pocket when I had checked my text messages – none - if you must know.

So there I am. Sitting, in my driveway @ 2:30am, no phone, no way to get back to the bar, I have a 6:00am flight home to Texas to catch for my best friend’s wedding that I’m Maid of Honor in and I have no phone/iPod/alarm/life. It’s all gone. I glanced back as if by some miracle I managed to toss it in the back seat ... like I actually do that a lot?...and BAM! There it was! Sitting there on a second.

NOOOOOO! Turns out, it’s my roommate's phone. I picked it up frantically and called my number. Please let someone answer. PLEASE! I had charged it all day so I know it still had juice.

Queue the immediate VOICEMAIL.

And there, with my happy 'I'm not here...' message, went the flood gates. In mass hysterics I scream and kick and cry and curse to anyone and everyone I had come across that day. The person who thought to ask me to the bar, the bartender for serving me a drink, the person I expected a text from, my own perma-stupidity and of course THE UNIVERSE. He is such a bitch to me at times!

I’ve now been iPhone free for 20 days. When I say I’ve been iPhone free, I also mean Nike + free. I don’t know how far I’m running, how fast (other than a glow-in-the-dark, giveaway digital watch someone gave me at a concert where I can gauge how long I’ve run). I can’t input my runs into the Nike+Running website to get my daily affirmations. I cannot post my runs to my Facebook to gloat to my siblings/friends about how awesome I’m doing at keeping up the training. And to think I was only 35 miles away from being in Nike's "serious runner" category (150+ miles completed).

This must be said. Running isn’t very fun when you aren’t making people jealous. It's fairly boring actually and quite uneventful when no one knows. It's like a tree falling in the forest.... did it ever really happen?

SO now I wait for June 24th. What a GREAT day that will be! Not only will be a non-smoker for 6 straight months, but I get my life back...version 4G.

Thank you USAA...thank you jerkface universe for hating me...thank you dude who has no conscious. I'll appreciate you that day.

Oh, and Universe? You are welcome. I have now given you two iPhones...I expect my dues shortly, got it?


  1. Molly.. read this blog

  2. So the universe can STILL hate you even after you give it TWO iphones? Eff, I'm totally screwed.

  3. bummer. if anyone takes my new 4g -- i may need to commit a crime. ha!